You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
