im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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