forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
