I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm just crazy horny about you
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
