So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
