I think i peed on brittanys purse
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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