i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
