my shit smells like andre
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
