tell your sister to shave her snatch
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
