I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
