he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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