Sry I called you an 8
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
