Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Those nachos came to me in a dream
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
