you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
