lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
