Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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