I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
