he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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