He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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