First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
