if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
