I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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