Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
