Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
