Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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