Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
