yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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