I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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