i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
