You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
