theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
