The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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