There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
There's always time for handjobs
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
