Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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