I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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