just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
