I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
