I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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