im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
