Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
