i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
