Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
