this just has baby written all over it
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
