i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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