at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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