I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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