you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
