Your tits are I can't wait for
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
