its not stalking. its research.
Do vagina's smell?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
third nipple confirmed
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
