Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
